May 31, 2023

The effect of all this information is felt everywhere from drop-off to playdates, with millennials taking parenting seriously in a way that could make the eyes of older generations roll. Bridget Shirvell, 37, of Mystic, Connecticut, was at a birthday party with her daughter when another child had a breakdown about leaving. “The mom tried to talk about her feelings, and one of the grandparents who was there said, ‘How’s that kind parenting going?'” she said. “He just wanted her to put the kid in the car and go. But I’m like, you just have to brush it off. We’re in it for the long haul,” she said.

“We’re in because of the relationship we’re going to have with this kid 20 years from now,” she added.

Newer parents have always been preoccupied with parenting and often find themselves talking only about their children, especially with other parents. But for this generation, it can feel like studying for a Ph.D. in some imaginary educational college, with an endless stream of homework and lessons. “We circle around the same books, the same podcasts, the same Instagram people,” says Heidi Fichtner, 40, of Rochester, NY

When parents make snarky remarks online these days, they do so in secret. Instead of posting in the comments, where they may face a wave of backlash, a small group of people share their most petty thoughts about other parents and parenting influencers on Reddit forums where they can remain anonymous. (“I understand if you personally don’t want to use timeouts, but please stop pretending it’s ruining my kid because influencers told you to,” one user wrote.)

Joyce Szuflita, a 63-year-old school admissions counselor who has been helping parents in New York for a decade and a half, said her clients have felt “floating out on an iceberg” for the past six years. to the sea,” more anxious and insecure than previous generations of parents.

There is a lot to worry about: the climate crisis, debt, war, aging parents, a divided country, the consequences of the pandemic. The same generation of people who watched the horrors of the Columbine High School shootings unfold on live TV in Colorado, the victims about their age, are now forced to go through school shootings repeatedly as their children practice hiding under their desks. to hide. “There’s something to be said about this shift from gently raising these kids in this world,” Ms. Fichtner said with an expletive.