Another day, another man thinks he is doing his wife a favor by taking care of his own offspring.
But this time the father goes one step further and says it’s more than just a favor: it’s a gift.
A Mother’s Day gift ever.
“I thought it would count as a gift since she wouldn’t be here to celebrate.”
The dad took to a popular parenting forum and asked, “Am I the A-hole for not getting my wife anything on Mother’s Day?”
The post quickly caused a stir, with nearly 6,000 upvotes and 5,000 comments.
“I didn’t buy or get anything for my wife on Mother’s Day and I’ll explain why,” the poster begins.
He explains: “My wife and her friend planned a trip to the beach for four days, which fell on Mother’s Day.
“So I thought to myself that since I’m looking after the kids while she’s gone that would count as a gift since she wouldn’t be here to celebrate that day and would be coming home that night on Mother’s Day.” She comes home and realizes I didn’t do anything for her and later tells me she is upset and the message has been received loud and clear.”
The man says he tried to explain his reasoning to his wife, hoping she would understand his thought process, but she disagreed.
“I consider it a gift, because we usually share 50/50 with children and household chores,” the father concluded.
“Raising your own child is not a gift”
Most people responded to the comments to point out the obvious to the father: that taking care of your kids isn’t “babysitting” and it certainly isn’t a “gift.”
The top note reads, “Taking care of the kids should be part of your regular duties, not a gift/gift.”
Another echoed: “Raising your own children is not a gift, it is your job and duty as a parent.”
Then this person added, “I rolled my eyes at the ‘watching the kids is a gift’ part. Do you mean you would have let your wife take the kids if it hadn’t been Mother’s Day? If yes, YTA. If not, then YTA to make yourself feel good about an empty gift.
“Was it too hard to go buy some flowers? Or even a map? Did you wish her a happy Mother’s Day? At least by SMS? How often does SHE watch the kids while you do what you want? Husband and father are his choices that you made. Those choices imply responsibilities such as babysitting, helping around the house, etc. AND showing that you care about your partner!” said another user.
Many commenters also noted that the OP did not help his children make or buy anything for their mother.
This person wrote: “Your wife probably meant ‘Why didn’t you help the kids make me something?
Another added, “She’s not your mom, but it’s up to you to act as a supervisor to make sure your kids make cards and give something.”
And a third said, “Your kids are probably too small to give her a present.” They need your help to show their mother that they love her. Instead, you decided that raising your own children was a “gift” and she didn’t deserve any recognition from her children’s day. Bad choice.”
“She chose to be away from her family and go away with her boyfriend instead”
But a few people agreed with the father and said they also think it’s a nice gesture to take care of the kids.
“Unpopular opinion – but NTA,” one person wrote.
“As a mother of three little ones under the age of five, being able to deal with children on your own while the other parent is away is a gift in itself.
“My partner and I are 50/50 parents, so if one person gets to take a trip to the beach, the other has to deal with the kids. That’s why it’s so much more tiring to be alone with the kids than watching the kids together.
“So on the rare occasions that one of us has a weekend to ourselves, we are so grateful to our partner — so much so that yes — that ‘parenting’ would only be a gift for the other to get away from it all.
“That being said, if your wife’s love language is gifts and knowing that you didn’t buy her flowers, I can understand why she would be upset.”
And a second person backed this up by saying, “You’re not the asshole. 1) She is not your mother and 2) She chose to be away from her family and go away with her friend instead.
“I agree with everyone that taking care of your children is your job as a parent. But agreeing to take care of them alone for four days while your wife is away with a friend seems like a small gift.
